I showed up at a studio in Hollywood dressed in comfortable clothes: sneakers, jeans and a tee-shirt, as I’d been instructed. I was met by my friend, who handed a walkie-talkie and showed me how to key the various channels. So far so good. He then took me around and introduced me to his boss, along with some of the other production assistants I’d be working with. More importantly, he taught me some of the valuable lexicon I would need while working on set: “what’s your 20?” (where are you?)… and “ten one hundred” (I’m in the bathroom). Personally, I didn’t think I’d ever feel comfortable letting thirty or so people know I was in the can, so I figured I’d just skip over that part. But I got a kick out of saying “what’s your 20?”, and used it often that first day. I think I even started throwing in things like “ETA five minutes”.

Anyway, only once I was on set was I told what they’d be shooting: turns out Bob Dylan was filming a video of his original song from Curtis Hanson’s film “Wonder Boys”. Everyone was instructed in no uncertain terms that, once Mr. Dylan was on set, we were all to maintain our distance, avoid prolonged eye contact, and lastly, under no circumstances, were we to talk to him. Ever. I nodded, figuring it was cool enough that I’d get to see Bob Dylan in person. And sure enough, when he walked on set, it was a bit of a thrill that he was standing only five feet away.

I didn’t expect what came next, however: in between shots, to help pass the time, Dylan decided to practice. He started strumming his guitar, and singing songs like “Hurricane” under his breath. I looked at the other production assistants around me, and could see the same barely-suppressed excitement on their faces: we were basically being treated to a private concert by the man himself. I didn’t think the day could get better from there, but it did.

Because of my limited experience, I was plucked from the set and sent to work the monitors in the video village, the area where the director (Hanson), the producers, and the talent all gathered to watch the various takes; in this case, the talent included Dylan, as well as Michael Douglas, who was there to reprise his role in the film for some scenes with Dylan. My job was simple: press play and rewind. I took drink orders, handed out coffee and pastries, and then settled in a chair next to Michael Douglas for the next couple of hours. The highlight came when everyone wandered away except for myself and Bob Dylan; figuring it would be rude not to talk to him, I struck up a conversation and we chatted for about five minutes. At that point, I couldn’t believe they were actually paying me to be there! When the day finally ended, I walked away whistling, having had one of my best days in this city. This is showbiz, I thought to myself; I now have a PRODUCTION ASSISTANT job, and I love it!

Two weeks later, I PA’d a music video in downtown Long Beach, for some crappy boy band that no one had ever heard of. It rained… I was stuck outside, hauling cables and lights, from 10p.m. to 9a.m…. I made $75… I got yelled at twice by the psychotic 2^nd Assistant Director… and I broke my walkie-talkie (and nearly my hand) when some idiot slammed a metal pipe into it. As the rain poured down, I marveled at just how much I had been misled.

This is showbiz, I thought to myself the next morning as I trudged home; and I now have a production assistant job. Yay.